Friday, January 19, 2018

What I’ve learned as a mother, with each child, has been an emancipating journey. Born again as l learn my newborn and life through their little beady eyes, centers me and gives me so much gratitude and love for life! 

Today I’m going to share some things that have helped me grow and appreciate my place in motherhood. No matter what, l know I will always be from this block, but l can’t forget that vessel l was before my body shared human life with others.

I can think it all, but l can’t do it all! 
I carried life, gave birth, but l am not thee Creator! Relying on God for my strength, my wisdom and my love to give, all comes from Him! 
Even when my children are right (yup, those little brains can comprehend a lot y’all)
l have to take accountability and apologize, to them.
Teaching them mistakes are given at any age, and age doesn’t automatically mean correct, helps them learn from my flaws, accept me as a growing human like them, and as a mother they can look up to. 

A moment of silence....
because we all lose it and could use some more of it.

When l first became a mother at 20, “slowing down” wasn’t an issue for me because l wasn’t old enough for “club hopping” and drinking anyway. But what l did have to learn, was accepting someone else’s schedule and having to basically focus on them. 

Think of it as physical or even occupational rehab. You can have goals and expectancies set for your patient, read the best text you feel will support your patient’s progress and well-being, but in the end, it take lots of your time, and a lot of effort to find exactly what level to successfully work with
that person to achieve their goals. 

The first child is always a trial-and-error experience and even when you get new tricks under your belt, if another child comes along. You have to modify and sometimes restart. 
With my second child, he taught me grit! My son is tender and loving, but boy he’s always up for a challenge. He always see another way of doing something, and if you tell him “no” he sees it as an opportunity, per say, to still work around that and accomplish his goal. 

Seems perfect to fall right after patience huh?
In our home, we believe in discipline and punishment. Off the bat, what may have worked for one child, will not always work for the other. Discipline helps them let understand boundaries, tolerance, and respect (for others and themselves). 
The same goes for me as a mother, l have to have discipline as well!
 l have to keep my word and mean what l say!
l have a tolerance level that has to be understood, but flexible if need be. Respecting my use of time, feelings, and mindful space of theirs (and others) allows me to teach them they are contributors to this world.  

Emotions are real, they may be expressed, but just like everything else, they have their place. Expecting them to be perfect will strain their confidence and leave you restless. There will be good days and bad days and sometimes that means a whole bunch of emotions all over the place. Taking time for myself and teaching my children early the importance of “alone time” helps me to keep grounded and helps them learn to be independent and find peace in their own company. I allow them to feel and express their emotions, but l teach them if it will harm them, others or if it lingers too long, that’s when it’s not good. You can be mad, but respectful, and so on. 

I could go on forever, but tip-toeing on what I’ve learned thus far as a mother and what l know l can expect with my third child, puts my mommy brain at ease. Even though this is my third time around, l still get a little worrisome at times of always being and giving my best to my children. 

Compared to what you expected and know now, what have you learned since you’ve become a parent? 

-xo Natasha 

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